I'm A Comedian, For God's Sake. Viewers

That Receiver Was As Wide Open As Annabel Chong.

That Field Goal Attempt Was So Far To The Left It Nearly Decapitated Lyndon Larouche.

Big Deal, So He Scored. The Last Time I Saw Someone Dance Like That I Had To Pay Her $20 And Have My Pants Dry Cleaned The Next Day.

Police In Washington D.c. Are Now Using Cameras To Catch Drivers Who Go Through Red Lights. Many Congressmen This Week Opposed The Use Of The Red Light Cameras Incorrectly Assuming They Were Being Used For Surveillance At Local Brothels.

That Punt Was Higher Than Marion Berry On A Fact-finding Tour Of Cartagena.