I'm A Charming Coward; I Fight With

I'm An Entertainer And I Entertain People And They Entertain Me Back By Asking Questions. And Some Of Them I Answer.

I'm Not A Believer, I Call Myself An Atheist. It Was Man Who Invented God. I Once Wrote That There Are 15 Things I Know About God, And One Is That He Is Allergic To Shellfish. There Are Far Too Many Commandments And You Really Only Need One: Do Not Hurt Anybody.

A Lot Of People Like Snow. I Find It To Be An Unnecessary Freezing Of Water.

I Was A Teletype Operator In The Army, So That's Where I Learned To Type. One Day, I Went Downstairs To See If I Could Still Type - I Hadn't Done It For Four Or Five Years After The War. So I Typed Out A Page And I Showed It To My Wife And She Said, "where Did You Get This?" I Said I Wrote It. "you Wrote This?" It Was Something Very Funny. I Went And Wrote Another Page, Another Couple Of Pages, And By The Time I Was Finished I Had 13 Little Short Stories, Humorous Short Stories.

A Fellow Who Has A Funny Bone Can Learn To Hone His Skills, But I Don't Think You Can Develop A Funny Bone - You Either Have It Or You Don't. And By The Way - When You Get It, We Don't Know It.