I'm A Big Eater. I Mean, A

I Like To Think Of Bread As Really Bland Cake.

I Don't Think Comedians Make An Active Decision To Be A Certain "persona." Comedians Write The Way They're Going To Write.

I Only Dated One Asian Girl, But She Was Very Asian. She Was A Panda.

Comedy Is A Very Lucrative Business Now, But When Everyone First Went Into It, It Didn't Make Sense From A Financial Standpoint.

I Usually Don't Have A Burger, A Brat, And A Steak But It Is 4th Of July. And I Need The Energy If I'm Gonna Start Blowin Crap Up. It's What The Founding Fathers Would Want.