I'll Be Honest With You. It's Beginning

Yesterday Was The New York City Marathon. Republicans Won In A Landslide.

I Vote Democrat Because I'm Way Too Irresponsible To Own A Gun, And I Know That My Local Police Are All I Need To Protect Me From Murderers And Thieves. I Am Also Thankful That We Have A 911 Service That Gets Police To Your Home In Order To Identify Your Body After A Home Invasion.

Did You Hear What The Republicans Have Said About Hillary Clinton? They Say She's Too Angry To Be President. Hillary Clinton, Senator Hillary Clinton, Too Angry To Be President. When She Heard This, Hillary Said, 'oh Yeah? I'll Rip Your Throats Out, You Bastards.'

Say What You Will About Leona Helmsley, When It Comes To Standing Trial, She's Twice The Man Jim Bakker Is.

Asked By Reporters About His Upcoming Marriage To A Forty-two-year-old Woman, Director Roman Polanski Told Reporters, `the Way I Look At It, She's The Equivalent Of Three Fourteen-year-olds.'