If You're Hanging Out With Two Negative

I'm Completely Changing My Diet. My Nutritionist Recommends I Must Now Stop Eating Food I Have Already Eliminated.

Found A Bunch Of Old Shower Caps In My House. Was Gonna Throw Them Out But Realized They Make Excellent Porta Potties For Long Road Trips.

What Do You Do If You're In The Car And Your Girlfriend Touches Your Crotch Then Asks You To Remind Her To Get Kitchen Scissors?

I Don't Censor Myself, But I Don't Want To Force My Sick-skewed Version Of The World, Either.

Concerned We're In A Time Where Politicians Can't Even Fake Sincerity. Aren't They Supposed To Be Good At That?