If You're Hanging Out With Two Negative

It's Smart To Marry Your Yoga Teacher So When You Get Divorced You Know How To Go Down On Yourself.

A Lot Of The Comedians Don't Even Tell The Joke. Like Only Three Tell The Joke, The Rest Of Them Dissect It.

I Am Stressed Because Once I Am Flattened Out So Thin To Be Able To Slide Under A Doorway, I May Never Be Able To Ever Be Unflattened So I Could Be Regular Sized Again.

I Just Had A Pedicure. My Feet Are Soft Like A Baby's Behind. If His Ass Was Covered In Calluses.

I Have The Brain Of A German Shepherd And The Body Of A 16-year-old Boy; They’re Both In My Car And I Want You To See Them