If You Were Married To Marilyn Monroe,

I Don't Worry About Getting Old. I'm Old Already. Only Young People Worry About Getting Old. When I Was 65, I Had Cupid's Eczema. I Don't Believe In Dying. It's Been Done. I'm Working On A New Exit. Besides, I Can't Die Now - I'm Booked.

I Smoke Ten To Fifteen Cigars A Day. At My Age I Have To Hold On To Something.

When I'm In Front Of An Audience, All That Love And Vitality Sweeps Over Me And I Forget My Age.

By [age] 93, I Had Shrunk Quite A Lot. My Car Was Known As The Phantom Cadillac. People Would See It Whizzing By And They Would Swear There Was No Driver.

I'd Say That About 82 Percent Of What I Write Is Bad, But Don't Go By Me; I'm As Bad A Judge As I Am A Writer. Look, If It Were All Good, You'd Be Paying Twice As Much For This Book.