If You Want To Talk To Me

I Don't Wear A Watch Because I Want My Arms To Weigh The Same. So If Somebody Asks Me What Time It Is, I Have To Tell Them Something That Is Going On. "what Time Is It, Mitch?" "uh, That Guy Is Eating A Hamburger." "shi*, I Had To Be Somewhere..."

If Carrots Got You Drunk, Rabbits Would Be Messed-up.

Is A Hippopotamus A Hippopotamus Or Just A Really Cool Opotamus?

I Hate Flossing, I Wish I Just Had One Long Curvy Tooth. They Didn't Have To Make Separations For Me.

If I'm Out To Dinner With A Group Of Friends, And Somebody Offers To Pay For The Check, I Immediately Reach For My Wallet. Inside Is A Note That Says, "say Thanks!"