If You Want Sex, Have An Affair.

I Didn't Cry When I Left Free-booting, Smash-and-grab Papers That Would Have Appeared To Be Far More Natural Homes For Me And, At The Risk Of Being Vulgar, Paid Far Better For My Services.

Show Me A Frigid Woman And, Nine Times Out Of Ten, I'll Show You A Little Man.

The Money I Pay For My Cultural Experiences Came Willingly From My Own Pocket - They Were Not The Result Of Bread Being Removed From The Mouths Of The Poor So That Miss Thing Here Could Mince Off To The Circus Smelling Of Roses.

One Christmas Build-up Tradition, However, Has Totally Bypassed Me - That Of Going Up To Town And Doing A Show.

What Sort Of Sap Doesn't Know By Now That Picture-perfect Beauty Is All Done With Smoke And Mirrors Anyway?