If You Think You Have It Tough,

A Lot Of People Say They Are Dyslexic; Some Have To Realize That They Are Just Stupid.

The Bible Looks Like It Started Out As A Game Of Mad Libs.

When I Was In High School The Worst Thing You Could Ever Get Was Vd. Talk About The Sniffles! I Just Want To Meet An Old-fashioned Girl With Gonorrhea.

I Get The Playboy Thing A Lot. People Assume I Go Out With Bimbos. I Couldn`t Go Out With Bimbos If I Tried! I Scare Them Off! The Women That Like Me Are Smart. So I Go To The Playboy Mansion Four Or Five Times A Year, But People Think I Go All The Time.

When It Comes To Religion, We're Not Two Sides Of The Same Coin, And You Don't Get To Put Your Unreason Up On The Same Shelf With My Reason. Your Stuff Has To Go Over There, On The Shelf With Zeus And Thor And The Kraken, With The Stuff That Is Not Evidence-based, Stuff That Religious People Never Change Their Mind About, No Matter What Happens.