If Tyson Griffin Was A Girl, I'd

If I Could Make The Same Amount Of Money Doing Standup It Would Be No Contest. The Problem Is That If You Do Make That Kind Of Money Doing Standup, It's Not In Clubs, It's In Big Auditoriums And Large Venues, And I Really Think Something Is Lost When You Do Standup For A Big Crowd.

There's Only 2 Reasons That You Hate Gay Marriage; 1. You're Dumb, Or 2. You're Secretly Worried That Dicks Are Delicious.

It's Not Necessarily A Brave Thing, People Talk About What They Think About. There's People Out There Who Love To Talk About Politics Or Where They Think The Countries Headed. I Don't Talk About That I Talk About...things That Are A Little Trippier.

Haters...are All Failures. It's 100% Across The Board. No One Who Is Truly Brilliant At Anything Is A Hater.

We Live In A Society That Makes It Really Easy For These Pussies To Get By.