If There's Anything I'm Keen To Get

She Drinks Pints Of Coffee And Writes Little Observations And Ideas For Stories With Her Best Fountain Pen On The Linen-white Pages Of Expensive Notebooks. Sometimes, When It's Going Badly, She Wonders If What She Believes To Be A Love Of The Written Word Is Really Just A Fetish For Stationery.

I Think I Became A Writer Because I Used To Write Letters To My Friends, And I Used To Love Writing Them. I Loved The Idea That You Can Put Marks On A Page And Send It Off, And Two Days Later, Someone Laughs Somewhere Else In The World.

I Applied For The University Of Life. Didn't Get The Grades.

David Holdaway Was My Stage Name. I Was An Actor For About Eight Years In The '90s. I Had To Change My Name Because There Was Another David Nicholls, And I Thought If I Changed It To My Mother's Name, She'd Be Touched.

Afterward, There Was Some Debate As To Whether We'd Actually "done It Properly," Which Gives You Some Idea Of The Awesome Skill And Artful Dexterity Of My Lovemaking Technique.