If The Shoe Fits, Buy Another One

Here’s A Bumper Sticker I’d Like To See: “we Are The Proud Parents Of A Child Who’s Self-esteem Is Sufficient That He Doesn’t Need Us Promoting His Minor Scholastic Achievements On The Back Of Our Car."

If God Didn't Want You To Masturbate, He Would Have Given You Short Arms.

There's Some Invisible Guy, Up In The Sky, Who Can Kill You, Because He Loves You.

I Suspect There Really Was More To My Accident Than Bad Luck. I Think It Was God's Way Of Punishing My Nose.

People Who Own Everything Know How To Relax A Little And Bend And Exhale Once In A While, But They're Not Going To Let It Get Out Of Control.