If The #2 Pencil Is The Most

I've Begun Worshipping The Sun For A Number Of Reasons. First Of All, Unlike Some Other Gods I Could Mention, I Can See The Sun. It's There For Me Every Day. And The Things It Brings Me Are Quite Apparent All The Time: Heat, Light, Food, And A Lovely Day. There's No Mystery, No One Asks For Money, I Don't Have To Dress Up, And There's No Boring Pageantry. And Interestingly Enough, I Have Found That The Prayers I Offer To The Sun And The Prayers I Formerly Offered To "god" Are All Answered At About The Same 50% Rate.

Granola Didn't Sell Very Well When It Was Good For You. Now It Has Caramel, Chocolate, Marshmallow, Saturated Fat And Sweeteners With A Small Amount Of Oats And Grains. Sales Picked Up.

It's Nothing But A Big Stroke Job In This Country. The Government Strokes You Every Day Of Your Life. Religion Never Stops Stroking You. Big Business Gives You A Good Stroke. And It's One Big, Transcontinental, Cross-country, Red, White And Blue Stroke Job... Do You Know What The National Emblem For This Country Ought To Be? Forget That Bald Eagle. The National Emblem Of This Country Ought To Be Uncle Sam Standing Naked At Attention Saluting, And Seated On A Chair Next To Him, The Statue Of Liberty Jerking Him Off. That Would Be A Good Symbol For The United Strokes Of America.

Language Is A Tool For Concealing The Truth. If We Could Read Each Other's Minds, This Would Be A Horror Show.

I Put A Dollar In One Of Those Change Machines. Nothing Changed.