If The Guy Likes/loves You, He Won't

And I'm Sure Than In Poland, Or Somewhere, It Is Considered Cool To Drive A Porsche And Wear Necklaces And Black Silk, But At Least Back In Brooklyn If You Did Those Things You Were Either A Drug Dealer Or From New Jersey.

Sometimes Between Lunch And Dinner, When There's A Lull, Jill And Shaniqua And I Will Sit Around And Fantasize About What We'd Do If A Real Celebrity Walked Into The Place, Like Chad Michael Murray (although We've Gone Off Him A Bit Since His Divorce) Or Jared Padalecki, Or Even Prince William (you Never Know. He Could Have Gotten His Yacht Lost, Or Whatever.)

I Needed Another Soda. I’d Only Had Six Since Breakfast.

You Can't Be Friends With Someone Who's In Love With You If You Don't Love That Person Back The Same Way.

I Don't Do Alcohol. Or Other People's Boyfriends. And Don't You Forget It.