If I Was Gay, Why Would I

I Really Wanted To Succeed. I Wanted To Be Accepted. I Read Every Magic Book That I Possibly Could, Studied Every Move, And By The Time I Was 12, They Really Accepted Me, They Embraced Me.

You'd Go In The Magic Shop [as An 8-year-old ], And You'd Walk Up To The Magicians Doing Stuff, And They'd Turn Their Back On You. "oh My Gosh, I Wish They Would Accept Me." It Really Lit A Fire. I Really Wanted To Succeed.

I'm A Horrible Karaoke Singer.

A Few Years Later, When I Was Still Going To These Meetings, I Was Also "second-acting" Every Broadway Show [walking In With The Crowd After Intermission]. I Snuck In To See Grease With John Travolta In Kind Of A Secondary Part And Adrienne Barbeau Playing Rizzo, Into Pippin, Hung Out With Ben Vereen And Bob Fosse. It Was An Amazing Time For A Teenager.

Let Sleeping Dogs Lie — Who Wants To Rouse 'em?