If I Say A Joke And The

If You Buy Your Husband Or Boyfriend A Video Camera, For The First Few Weeks He Has It, Lock The Door When You Go To The Bathroom. Most Of My Husband's Early Films End With A Scream And A Flush.

Buying Something On Sale Is A Very Special Feeling. In Fact, The Less I Pay For Something, The More It Is Worth To Me. I Have A Dress That I Paid So Little For That I Am Afraid To Wear It. I Could Spill Something On It, And Then How Would I Replace It For That Amount Of Money?

If You're Dating A Man Who You Think Might Be "mr. Right," If He A) Got Older, B) Got A New Job, Or C) Visited A Psychiatrist, You Are In For A Nasty Surprise. The Cocoon-to-butterfly Theory Only Works On Cocoons And Butterflies.

Someday I Want To Be Rich. Some People Get So Rich They Lose All Respect For Humanity. That's How Rich I Want To Be.

Women Take Clothing Much More Seriously Than Men. I've Never Seen A Man Walk Into A Party And Say "oh, My God, I'm So Embarrassed; Get Me Out Of Here. There's Another Man Wearing A Black Tuxedo.