If I Refuse To Allow My Leg

The Fickleness Of The Women I Love Is Only Equalled By The Infernal Constancy Of The Women Who Love Me.

Fine Art Is The Subtlest, The Most Seductive, The Most Effective Instrument Of Moral Propaganda In The World, Excepting Only The Example Of Personal Conduct; And I Waive Even This Exception In Favor Of The Art Of The Stage, Because It Works By Exhibiting Examples Of Personal Conduct Made Intelligible And Moving To Crowds Of Unobservant Unreflecting People To Whom Real Life Means Nothing.

The Function Of The Actor Is To Make The Audience Imagine For The Moment That Real Things Are Happening To Real People.

A Succession Of Eye-openers Each Involving The Repudiation Of Some Previously Held Belief.

My Situation Is A Solemn One: Life Is Offered To Me On The Condition Of Eating Beefsteaks. But Death Is Better Than Cannibalism. My Will Contains Directions For My Funeral, Which Will Be Followed, Not By Mourning Coaches, But By Oxen, Sheep, Flocks Of Poultry, And A Small Traveling Aquarium Of Live Fish, All Wearing White Scarves In Honor Of The Man Who Perished Rather Than Eat His Fellow Creatures. It Will Be, Without The Exception Of Noah's Ark, The Most Remarkable Thing Of Its Kind Ever Seen.