If I Have Kids, I'll Adopt.

I Think I've Been Called Edgy - But In All Honesty, There Is A Safety In What I Do Because I'm Always The Idiot. Unless You're Just Listening To Buzz Words And Not Taking Into Account The Context Of The Situation, You See I'm Always The Ignoramus.

In Your Twenties, I Think You Should Have All Of The Sex That You're Inclined To Have, As Long As You're Safe About It. Use Condoms And Everything. Go With Your Instincts. This Is The Time To Have A Lot Of Sex And Do Drugs. But Make Sure You Live Through It.

I Became Known For Surprising Audiences. Except Now, If I Surprise Them Every Time, They Expect That.

I Don't Like People Whose Job It Isn't To Be Funny, To Tell Me What Is And Isn't Funny.

All Comics Want To Be Musicians. There's A Part Of Me That Wants To Be A Serious Musician. I Love Songs About Heartache And Heartbreak.