If I Have Kids, I'll Adopt.

I Learned Pretty Early Is I Never Defend My Material; It's For Other People To If Someone Is Offended. It's So Subjective, And If You Don't Find It Funny, It's Definitely Going To Be Offensive.

Strippers Should Be Role-models For Little Girls. If Only For The Fact That They Wax Their Assholes.

I Still Have Highs And Lows, Maybe I Don't Cry Salty Tears As Much.

I Don't Think Comedy Comes From Hotbeds Of Doing Shtick. I Think It Usually Comes From Some Kind Of Childhood Humiliation Or Darkness.

Look At The People Who Are Kind Of The Funniest Cultures, They're The Cultures Of The People Who Have Been The Most Oppressed, Black People And Jews. Not That They're The Only Funny People, But Culturally, It Comes From The Pain, You Know?