If At First You Don't Succeed, Redefine

Here's All You Have To Know About Men And Women: Women Are Crazy, Men Are Stupid. And The Main Reason Women Are Crazy Is That Men Are Stupid.

Eventually, Alas, I Realized The Main Purpose Of Buying Cocaine Is To Run Out Of It.

I Hope I'm Beginning A New Cycle Of Energy And Creativity. If So, It'll Really Be My Third Career. The First Was As A Straight Comic In The Sixties. The Second Was As A Counterculture Performer In The Seventies. The Third Will Be...well, That's For Others To Judge.

You Know Who Would Make An Interesting Murder-suicide? Madeline Albright And Yanni.

If 4 Out Of 5 People Suffer From Diarrhea…does That Mean That 1 Enjoys It?