If A Job's Worth Doing, It's Too

Methods For Predicting The Future: 1) Read Horoscopes, Tea Leaves, Tarot Cards, Or Crystal Balls . . . Collectively Known As "nutty Methods;" 2) Put Well-researched Facts Into Sophisticated Computer . . . Commonly Referred To As "a Complete Waste Of Time."

He Was Deader Than A Shrunken Head At A Hackey Sack Festival.

God Designs People's Emotions So You Fall In Love With People Who, In Return, Wouldn't Even Use Your Hollowed-out Skull For A Spittoon.

Every Credible Scientist On Earth Says Your Products Harm The Environment. I Recommend Paying Weasels To Write Articles Casting Doubt On The Data. Then Eat The Wrong Kind Of Foods And Hope You Die Before The Earth Does.

A Person With A Flexible Schedule And Average Resources Will Be Happier Than A Rich Person Who Has Everything Except A Flexible Schedule. Step One In Your Search For Happiness Is To Continually Work Toward Having Control Of Your Schedule.