I'd Rather Be Funny Than Wise.

Wouldn't It Be Great If All Of Osama Bin Laden's Money Was Tied Up In Enron Stock?

We've Got Nancy Pelosi. She Never Shuts Up. It's Just Occasionally We Have To Hood Her Like A Falcon So We Can Get Some Sleep.

I Like Money. It's Fun To Fold And Stack And Smell And Look At. It's Just Plain Fun To Count Money, And I Often Do It In A Loud Falsetto While Wearing Nothing But A Captain's Hat And A Coin Changer.

For The Foreseeable Future, We're Going To Need Oil Products Because I Don't Like The Idea Of Hydrogen Cars. I'm Not Sure I Want To Be Cruising Around A Mall Parking Lot Filled With A Thousand Mini-hindenburgs.

Look, We're Americans: Optimistic, Addicted To The Quick Fix, Constantly On The Hunt For The New And Exotic. It's Much Easier For Us To Accept A Guy With A Big White Beard Hawking His Own Custom Blend Of Saw Palmetto And Squirrel Dandruff That It Is To Hear A Real Doctor Telling Us To Lay Off The Big Macs, And Get Off Our Fat Asses And Take A Walk Every Decade Or So.