I Would've Asked Him To Bring A

The World Seemed A Bad And Terrible Place, All Its Denizens Suspect, And I The Lamb Wandering Through The Valley Of Death With A Bell Around My Neck.

I Had Never Realized A Woman Could Have To Struggle To Keep Her Hands Off A Man, But Here I Was, Digging My Nails Into My Palms, Staring At The Inside Of My Eyelids As Though I Could Maybe See Through Them If I Peered Hard Enough.

I Drank Lots Of Water And Orange Juice And Took A Multivitamin And Iron Supplement For Breakfast, Which Was My Regimen Since Bill Had Come Into My Life And Brought (along With Love, Adventure, And Excitement) The Constant Threat Of Anemia.

No Matter What Happens In Public—no Matter What—don’t Doubt That I Love You And Care About Your Welfare . . . As Much As I Am Able.

This Must Be The Legendary Yankee Rudeness