I Wouldn't Give My Troubles To A

President Obama Is Going To Take Two Weeks To Unwind, As Opposed To President Bush, Who Never Wound.

Donald Trump Had A University. Well, The State Attorney General Decided That The Donald Trump University Was An Unlicensed Sham. And I Thought, You Know You're At A Bad University When Your Commencement Speaker Is Whitey Bulger.

There's A Rumor That President George Bush Had A Nose Job, That He Had Some Kind Of Plastic Surgery, That He Actually Had A Nose Job. If This Is True, That's The First New Job He's Created Since Taking Office.

I Spend Most Of My Free Time Under The House.

When Martha Gets Out She'll Be Under House Arrest In Her Big $40 Million Mansion In Bedford. Boy, That'll Teach Her. She's Only Allowed Out Of The House For Doctors Visits, Grocery Shopping, Or To Dump More Stock.