I Would Make Sweet Love To Don

When You Have Five Little Kids, You're Not Going To Open Mindy Kaling's Latest Book. You're Playing With Your Kids.

Ireland Is A Place That's Beautiful And Interesting, But I Remember When I Went There As A Teenager With My Parents, I Was Like, "okay, I'll Go To Ireland With My Parents. It's Going To Be Green." I Think People Underestimate It, In That It's, "oh, It's Green," And Then You Get There, And It's Like, "wow, It Is Green!" It's, "oh, There's Irish Music," And Then You Get There, And You're Like, "oh, This Irish Music Is Amazing!" You Underestimate It.

I Was Watching Animal Planet. Did You Know That The Male Seahorse Has The Baby? And I Was Thinking, "why Don't They Just Call That The Female Seahorse?" You Know It's Just Some Stubborn Scientist. "yeah, That One There's The Male Seahorse." And His Assistant's Like, "uh, Bill, That One's Having A Baby." ... "the Male Has The Baby. You're Fired."

I Like To Stay In A Hotel Where It's A Dome Of Silence. I Can Sit In My Room And Do Nothing.

In Indiana, I Wasn't Anything Special. But In New York, I've Gone Out With Girls With Purple Hair Who Go Out With Me Because I'm Exotic!