I Would Like Evolution To Join The

Teddy Kennedy's Big New Idea Is To Wheel Out His 18th Proposal To Raise The Minimum Wage. He's Been Doing This Since Wages Were Paid In Spanish Doubloons (which Coincidentally Are Now Mostly Found Underwater). Kennedy Refuses To Countenance Any Risky Schemes Like Trying To Grow The Economy So People Making Minimum Wage Get Raises Because They've Been Promoted. Kennedy's Going Down And He's Taking The Party With Him! (recognize The Pattern?)

So I Think All Gays Who Are Born Gay Are Overwhelming Conservative, Maybe Apolitical, And All Those Angry Gays, Causing Trouble For Everybody, I Don't Think They Were Born Gay. I Think They Are Just Angry At Their Fathers.

Ted Kennedy Says That Our Policy In Iraq Is Adrift. Hmmm. Maybe Like A Car Adrift In The Water After Its Has Gone Over A Bridge?

In A Comprehensive Study Of All Public Multiple Shooting Incidents In America Between 1977 And 1999, Economists John Lott And Bill Landes Found That The Only Public Policy That Reduced Both The Incidence And Casualties Of Such Shootings Were Concealed-carry Laws. Not Only Are There 60 Percent Fewer Gun Massacres After States Adopt Concealed-carry Laws, But The Death And Injury Rate Of Such Rampages Are Reduced By 80 Percent.

I Think Obama Has Redefined The Democratic Party. It Used To Be The Party Of Acid, Amnesty, And Abortion, And Now It's Surrender, Socialism, And Subprime Mortgages.