I Won't Have To Miss Smoking Any

In The Twelfth Century The Basque Fishermen Of Biarritz Used To Hunt Whales With Deadly Efficiency. When The Whales Sensibly Moved Away, The Basques Chased Them Further And Further, With The Consequence That The Fishermen Of Biarritz Discovered America Before Columbus Did. This Is A Matter For Local Pride But On A Larger View It Is Not Quite So Stunning, Since With The Possible Exception Of The Swiss Everybody Discovered America Before Columbus Did.

Jimmy Connors Likes The Ball To Come At Him In A Straight Line, So That He Can Hit It Back In Another Straight Line. When It Comes To Him In A Curve, He Uses Up Half Of His Energy Straightening It Up Again.

If The Humanism That Makes Civilization Civilized Is To Be Preserved Into The New Century, It Will Need Advocates. These Advocates Will Need A Memory, And Part Of That Memory Will Need To Be Of An Age In Which They Were Not Yet Alive.

When You Cut It Up, Put The Pieces In Your Mouth And Swallowed Them, The British Hamburger Shaped Itself To The Bottom On Your Stomach Like Ballast, While Interacting With Your Gastric Juices To Form An Incipient Belch Of Enormous Potential, An Airship Which Had Been Inflated In A Garage. This Belch, When Silently Released, Would Cause People Standing Twenty Yards Away To Start Examining The Soles Of Their Shoes. The Vocalized Version Sounded Like A Bag Of Tools Thrown Into A Bog.

Like Most People Who Smoked Umpteen Cigarettes A Day, I Tasted Only The First One. The Succeeding Umpteen Minus One Were A Compulsive Ritual Which Had No Greater Savour Than The Fumes Of Burning Money.