I Wish I Was This Dark Genius

I Had A Career Before The Stern Show, On Mad Tv. I Was On The First Two Seasons Of That And I Got Kicked Off It Because Of Possession Of Cocaine.

My Dad Was Superman To Me, And In My Mind He Always Will Be.

When Political Correctness First Started Coming Around, It Ruined Andrew Dice Clay And Eddie Murphy's Stand-up Career. Sam Kinison Died At Just The Right Time, 'cause No One Was Going To Tolerate What He Was Saying Anymore Either.

I Was At Yankee Stadium One Time At 5 A.m., But That Was To Buy Angel Dust

Everytime I Go To Vegas, I Seem To Incur Some Kind Of Fine.