I Will Not Have Him In My

I Couldn't Believe It. It Was Unbelievable, That's Why. My Face Was Like A Frozen Fish Finger. All Rigid And Pale. (but Obviously Not With Breadcrumbs On It.)

I Think 'growing Up' Would Mean That You Are Incredibly Tolerant And Easygoing, Liked Everything, Curious About The World Because You Weren't So Egotistically Driven.

He Came Over And Ruffled My Hair, Which Is Technically Assault. I Could Get On The Blower To Childline.

And A Secret Inward Voice In My Head Was Saying (in A Strange Breathy Voice...) Yes, Yessss, I Will Pop Round To The Blind Pig. I Will 'pop' Round Because Guess Who Lives At The Blind Pig? It Is Not A Blind Pig, It Is Alex.

Cor, Love A Duck. And Also Lawks-a-mercy. I Said That Inwardly, But Outwardly I Said, "blimey, And Also, What Larks.