I Went To The University Of Life

Life Is A Matter Of Passing The Time Enjoyably. There May Be Other Things In Life, But I've Been Too Busy Passing My Time Enjoyably To Think Very Deeply About Them.

I Would Like To Like To Make One Thing Clear At The Very Outset And That Is, When You Speak Of A Train Robbery, This Involved No Loss Of Train, Merely What I Like To Call The Contents Of The Train, Which Were Pilfered. We Haven't Lost A Train Since 1946, I Believe It Was - The Year Of The Great Snows When We Mislaid A Small One.

I've Had Some Wonderful Ideas For Getting The Dominating Going. I've Got Some Extremely Subtle Advertising Slogans That Should Get The Public Behind Us. Things Like "vote For El Wisty And Lovely Nude Ladies Will Come And Dance With You." It's A Complete Lie, Of Course, But You Can't Afford To Be Too Scrupulous If You're Going To Dominate The World.

All In All I'd Rather Have Been A Judge Than A Miner. And What's More, Being A Miner, As Soon As You Are Too Old And Tired And Sick And Stupid To Do The Job Properly, You Have To Go. Well, The Very Opposite Applies With Judges. *

Everything I've Ever Told You, Including This, Is A Lie.