I Went To A Record Store, They

When It Comes To Racism, You Hear People Say, "i Don't Care If People Are White, Black, Purple Or Green." Hold On, Now, Purple Or Green? Come On Now, You Gotta Draw The Line Somewhere.

Say, I Was On The Craig Kilbourne Show And The Next Day I Flew To Minneapolis. I Was At The Airport And A Guy Came Up. He Said, 'dude, I Saw You On Tv Last Night.' But He Did Not Say Whether Or Not He Thought I Was Good, He Just Confirmed That I Was On Television. So I Turned My Head Away From Him For About A Minute, Then I Turned It Back. I Said, 'dude, I Saw You At The Airport About A Minute Ago. And You Were Good.'

I Met This Girl, She Was An Actress, And She Gave Me Her Number. It Started With 555.

Stand-up Is An Art But Since It's Humor And It's Funny - A Lot Of Guys That Don't Think It's Art Are Probably Coming From The Angle That They Don't Want To Take It So Seriously. I've Always Looked At It As An Art But I Don't Look At It As A Pretentious Art. I Understand It Has To Be Taken Lightly Because It Is Just Comedy In The End, But The Good Stand-up Comics Are Someone With Something To Say.

I Like The Public Hot-tub At The Hotels. I Like When A Guy Is Already In There, I Say, "hey, Do You Mind If I Join You?" Then I Go Turn The Heat Up, And I Add Some Carrots And Onions.