I Was Trying To Prove To Them

If I Had But An Hour Of Love,if That Be All That Is Given Me,an Hour Of Love Upon This Earth,i Would Give My Love To Thee.

And In A Small House Five Miles Away Was A Man Who Held My Mud-encrusted Charm Bracelet Out To His Wife. Look What I Found At The Old Industrial Park," He Said. "a Construction Guy Said They Were Bulldozing The Whole Lot. They're Afraid Of Sink Holes Like That One That Swallowed The Cars." His Wife Poured Him Some Water From The Sink As He Fingered The Tiny Bike And The Ballet Shoe, The Flower Basket And The Thimble. He Held Out The Muddy Bracelet As She Set Down His Glass. This Little Girl's Grown Up By Now," She Said. Almost. Not Quite. I Wish You All A Long And Happy Life.

For Me, Heaven Would Be A Lack Of Alienation. The Whole Time I Was Growing Up, I Felt Comfort Was Inherently Evil. I Think That For Me Heaven Isn't About Couches And Milk Shakes And Never Having A Troubling Thought Again.

The Stains Could Be Seen Only In The Sunlight, So Ruth Was Never Really Aware Of Them Until Later, When She Would Stop At An Outdoor Cafe For A Cup Of Coffee, And Look Down At Her Skirt And See The Dark Traces Of Spilled Vodka Or Whiskey. The Alcohol Had The Effect Of Making The Black Cloth Blacker. This Amused Her; She Had Noted In Her Journal: 'booze Affects Material As It Does People'.

And There She Was, Alone And Walking Out In The Cornfield While Everyone Else I Cared For Sat Together In One Room. She Would Always Feel Me And Think Of Me. I Could See That, But There Was No Longer Anything I Could Do. Ruth Had Been A Girl Haunted And Now She Would Be A Woman Haunted. First By Accident And Now By Choice. All Of It, The Story Of My Life And Death, Was Hers If She Chose Tot Ell It, Even To One Person At A Time.