I Was Sailing From Tedium To Apathy

Wit Penetrates; Humor Envelops. Wit Is A Function Of Verbal Intelligence; Humor Is Imagination Operating On Good Nature.

[on President Clinton's Address:] It Was The Worst Inaugural Address Of Our Lifetime, And I Think The Only Controversy Will Be Between Those Who Say It Was Completely And Utterly Banal And Those Who Say, 'well, Not Completely And Utterly.

Naps Are Nature's Way Of Reminding You That Life Is Nice, Like A Beautiful Swinging Hammock Strung Between Birth And Infinity.

The Irish Are Often Nervous About Having The Appropriate Face For The Occasion. They Have To Be Happy At Weddings, Which Is A Strain, So They Get Depressed; They Have To Be Sad At Funerals, Which Is Easy, So They Get Happy.

Let's Cause Some Senators Distress.