I Was On Various Anti-depressants, But Not

People Who Are Pro Smacking Children Say, 'it's The Only Language They Understand.' You Could Apply That To Tourists.

The Film Industry Is Like Anne Robinsonalways On The Look-out For A New Face

In My Local Newspaper, They Had This Advert: 'please Look After Your Neighbours In The Cold Weather'. I Live Next Door To This 84-year-old Woman, And Do You Know, Not Once Has She Come Round To See If I'm All Right. The Lazy Cow Hasn't Even Taken Her Milk In For A Fortnight.

The Rain Forest Has Sting. Now Siberia Has Jack Dee. Someone Had To Draw The Short Straw. In This Case It Was The Rain Forest.

If I've Inadvertently Become Some Sort Of Role Model For Failed Comedians, Then It's Really Backfired Very Badly On Me.