I Was Like, Oh, I Want To

When Choosing Sexual Partners, Remember: Talent Is Not Sexually Transmittable.

Why Are My Arms So Weak? It's Like I Did That Push-up Last Year For Nothing!

One Afternoon A Girl Walked By In A Bikini And My Cousin Janet Scoffed, “look At The Hips On Her.” I Panicked. What About The Hips? Were They Too Big? Too Small? What Were My Hips? I Didn’t Know Hips Could Be A Problem. I Thought There Was Just Fat Or Skinny. This Was How I Found Out That There Are An Infinite Number Of Things That Can Be “incorrect” On A Woman’s Body.

I Want To Go To There.

I Learned Quickly That Trying To Force Country Folk To Love The Big City Is Like Telling Your Gay Cousin, "you Just Haven't Met The Right Girl Yet.