I Was In The Rotc. Of Course,

Oh, Here's Your Tax Dollars At Work. This Is What Makes People Furious. The Head Of The Gsa, A Woman Named Martha Johnson, Has Resigned After They Found Out She Spent Over $830,000 On A Four-day Government Conference In Las Vegas. And The President Is Furious. Not President Obama, The President Of China. It's His Money. It's His Money She Spent.

Nissan Is Designing A Car That Will Read The Driver's Mind. I Already Know What I'm Going To Do. I Want A Car That Will Read The Other Guy's Mind.

Diet Coke With Lemon - Didn't That Used To Be Called Pledge?

The Federal Government Said Today They've Begun Training Sessions For Airport Security Workers To Provide What They Call More Customer Satisfaction To The Travels, They Want To Make It Easier For Us. They're Instructing Security Guards To Glance At Your Luggage Tags So That They Can Call You By Your First Name. Isn't That Creepy? The Guy Touching Your Wife, Calling Her By Her First Name.

It Looks Like Rudy Giuliani Is Out Of The Race. Finally, A Republican With An Exit Strategy.