I Was In The Army, And To

Tragedy Is What Happens To Me; Comedy Is What Happens To You.

Anybody Can Direct, But There Are Only Eleven Good Writers.

Writing Is Simply One Thought After Another Dying Upon The One Before.

Being Short Never Bothered Me For Three Seconds. The Rest Of The Time I Wanted To Commit Suicide.

The Thing Is To Be Brave And Move The Audience With You, Instead Of Cater To The Lowest Common Denominator, You Know, Slipping On A Banana Peel And Falling On Your Ass. You Got To Move The Audience A Little Further Ahead In Terms Of Their Appreciation Of What Is Comedy. It's Complicated.