I Was A Lawyer For 10 Years,

When You Can't Draw Chameleons And You Can't Draw Blenders, It's A Bad Idea To Write Strips Where Chameleons Become Blenders.

Sticking To My Schedule, Ive Gotten Over Seven Months Ahead, Which Allowed Me To Write A Pearls Before Swine Movie Script For The Big Screen.

If Somebody Is Not On The Same Page With Me Humor Wise, I Can't Give Them That.

When I Say 'friends,' I Use That Term Loosely, As I Don't Actually Have Any.

Whenever I See People With Their Collars Up, I'm Tempted To Point It Out To Them Like You Would For Someone Who Has A Food Stain On Their Shirt Or Food In Their Teeth, As If To Say, 'your Fashion Sense Is So Offensive I'm Assuming It's Some Sort Of Accident You'll Want To Fix.