I Want To Perform An Unnatural Act.

If I Get Busted In New York, The Freest City In The World, That Will Be The End Of My Career.

Part Of The Kick Of Making People Laugh Was Doing Something Different. We Were A Rare Breed - Spotting One Of Us Was Like Pinning A Space Alien, Or Abdominal Snowman. There Were Maybe A Hundred Stand-ups In The Whole Country When I Was Doing It.

Every Tribe Needs A Good Front Man To Sell The Program. Who Better To Convince The Middle East To Give Up The Oil, Than A Brown Man With A Muslim Name?

Alright, Let's Admit It, We Jews Killed Christ - But It Was Only For Three Days.

Dig: I'm Jewish. Count Basie's Jewish. Ray Charles Is Jewish. Eddie Cantor's Goyish. B'nai B'rith Is Goyish; Hadassah, Jewish. If You Live In New York Or Any Other Big City, You Are Jewish. It Doesn't Matter Even If You're Catholic; If You Live In New York, You're Jewish. If You Live In Butte, Montana, You're Going To Be Goyish Even If You're Jewish.