I Want A President Who Can Handle

Net Neutrality Isn't A Government Takeover Of The Internet, As Many Of My Republican Colleagues Have Alleged.

It's Not Preppies, Cause I'm A Preppie Myself. I Just Don't Like Homosexuals. If You Ask Me, They're All Homosexuals In The Pudding. Hey, I Was Glad When That Pudding Homosexual Got Killed In Philadelphia.

I'm A Bit Of A Shill For The Clinton Administration, Which Has Its Perks. I'm Invited To All The Inaugural Balls.

The Minnesotans I Talk To Are Really Concerned About What The Future Holds For Their Families. They're Trying To Pay For Health Care And Send Their Kids To College, They're Worried About Declining Home Values, They're Scared For A Loved One They Have Serving In Iraq.

My Dad Loved Comedians, Especially George Jessel, And He Loved Henny Youngman And Buddy Hackett.