I Try To Write Three Jokes Every

On The Show, You Have To Be More Charismatic, A Little Smoother, But I Think I Can Still Be That Prince Of Darkness. You Just Have To Learn The Tricks Of The Tv Trade As Well.

I Can Drink Like A Fish, Or At Least, Someone Born With Fetal Alcohol Syndrome.

You Don't Know Anything About Pain Until You've Seen Your Own Baby Drowned In A Tub... And You Definitely Don't Know Anything About How To Wash A Baby.

My Mom, For Most Of Her Life, Was A Holocaust Denier. And It Was Terrible For The Entire Family To Have To Deal With Until, Finally, A Couple Years Ago, We Had An Intervention. And We Had A Rabbi Come Into The Home, Had Him Walk Her Through The History Of The Jewish People, And Then He Made Her Watch "schindler's List." And After That, My Mom Did A Complete 180. Now She Can't Believe It Only Happened Once.

Yesterday I Accidentally Hit A Little Kid With My Car. It Wasn't Serious — Nobody Saw Me.