I Thought I Was Raptured Up Into

I Caught My Wife In Bed With Another Man And I Was Crushed. So I Said, "get Off Of Me, You Two!"

My First Job As A Kid Was Going From Door To Door Selling Christmas Cards, To Raise Money For My Grandmother's Hip Replacement. Because, You Know... You Break It, You Buy It.

All The Nations Of The Earth Must Learn To Live Together In Peace. Why Be Prejudiced Against Anyone Because Of Their Race, Nationality, Or Creed? When There's So Many Real Reasons To Hate Others.

People Always Ask Me, 'where Were You When Kennedy Was Shot?' Well, I Don't Have An Alibi.

I Once Had A Large Gay Following, But I Ducked Into An Alleyway And Lost Him.