I Think There Is One Smashing Rule:

At Seventy-four I'm Getting Minor Raves On My Looks, But I'm Caught In The Middle. Who Knows What Seventy-four Looks Like? Who Cares? But If I'd Listened To My Friends, I Could Now Lie And Say I'm Eighty-four. For Eighty-four, The Way I Look Is Spectacular.

Sometimes What You Want You Don't Get Until You Don't Want It Anymore.

In Our Family We Don't Divorce Our Men - We Bury Them.

A Lot Of People Enjoy Being Dead. But They Are Not Dead, Really. They're Just Backing Away From Life.

In The Old Days, Ptomaine Poisoning Was A Cover-all. If You Missed A Show And You Were Young, It Meant You Were Having An Abortion. If You Were Old, It Meant You Were Having A Face Lift.