I Think Looks Do Matter On Television.

A Better Thing To Grow Up With Is To Be Funny I Think, And If I Had, If I Had My Choice I Would Still Pick That.

Those Flowers Were Picked By Illegal Immigrants. And They're Not Voting For You, B*tch.

Statistically, Skinny Women Die Younger Than Fat Women. Why? Because Fat Women Are Killing Them.

I Have A Friend Who Actually Told Me That She'd Rather Be Dead Than Be Fat. This Is A Woman Who, If I Order A Sandwich At Lunch, She'll Order A Salad. If I Order A Salad, She'll Order Half A Cantaloupe. If I Order Half A Cantaloupe, She'll Order A Cup Of Coffee. This Bizarre Contest Continues Until She's Down To Sucking On A Mint-flavored Toothpick. At This Rate, Her Preference For Dying Over Being Fat Could Be A Reality Sooner Than She Thinks.

I Mean, I'd Like To See (mitt Romney's) House Burn, One Of His Millions Of Houses Burning Down. It Would Be Kind Of Cool - The Mormon Fire Patrol.