I Think Because Of Their Terrible Past,

I No Longer Have The Terrible Nightmares That I Used To Have. Mao Had Just Died In 1976, And China Began To Open Up. For The First Time Scholarships To Go To The West To Study Were Awarded On Academic Merit.

When I Was In China, Mao Was Chairman, And Parents Were Terrified To Tell Their Children Anything That Differed From The Party Line In Case The Children Repeated It And Endangered The Whole Family.

The Chinese Seemed To Be Mourning Mao In A Heartfelt Fashion. But I Wondered How Many Of Their Tears Were Genuine. People Had Practiced Acting To Such A Degree That They Confused It With Their True Feelings.

My Father Said He Was Going To Write To The Jinzhou City Party Committee Asking For Permission To 'talk About Love'...my Mother Supposed It Was A Bit Like Asking Permission From The Head Of The Family...the Communist Party Was The New Patriarch.

If Children Were Brought Up To Become Non-conformists It Would Only Ruin Their Lives. So Parents All Over China Who Loved Their Children Told Them To Do As Chairman Mao Said. It Was Not Possible To Tell Them Anything Else.