I Think A Lot Of People Have

I Used To Go To The Improvisation Comedy Club Every Night In Times Square. How I Didn't Get Killed In That Area Either Means That 1) God Is Watching Over Me Or 2) I Am So Insignificant To God That He Didn't Bother Having Me Killed.

You Can Say "ass," But You Can't Say "asshole." That's Why I Always Cringe When A Character In A Tv Show Refers To Someone As An "ass." Unless You're British, Calling Someone An Ass Really Doesn't Work. But Those Are The Rules Of Television. You Can Be A Dirtbag, But Not A Scumbag.

I Remember Being At The Premiere Of 'beverly Hills Cop Ii' And The Tremendous Reaction From The Crowd Outside, Then Going To A Party At A Hotel Afterwards Where The Speakers Were Blasting 'shakedown,' A Song From The Movie. That Felt Like A Show Biz Moment To Me.

I Was The Class Podiatrist. I Never Made It To Class Clown. I Wasn't Funny Enough. I Would Examine Feet And Prescribe And Ointment. It Was A Sad Childhood.

Some Comedians Tell Nice Jokes That You Can Tell To Your Kids. Some Use Bad Words - They Work 'blue.' If You Don't Want To Hear A Joke That's Blue, You Shouldn't Go To A Comedy Club Where A Comedian Who Makes Blue Jokes Is Performing.