I Take The Juice Of Two Bottles

If You Drink Don't Drive. Don't Even Putt.

It Was A Woman Who Drove Me To Drink. Come To Think Of It, I Never Did Hang Around To Thank Her For That. 'hey Lady! Do I Look All Blurry To You? 'cause You Look Blurry To Me!'

When Jerry Lewis And I Were Big, We Used To Go To Parties, And Everybody Thought I Was Big-headed And Stuck Up, And I Wasn't. It Was Because I Didn't Know How To Speak Good English, So I Used To Keep My Mouth Shut.

You're Not Drunk If You Can Lie On The Floor Without Holding On.

Everybody Loves Somebody Sometime.