I Spent All Night Feeding The Homeless

I Was Always Cutting Words. I Even Would Write My Jokes In My Notebook. I Still Do This, Almost Like A Poem.

My Girlfriend Makes Me Want To Be A Better Person... So I Can Get A Better Girlfriend.

People Say It's Easy To Make Fun Of Retarded People, But It's Not. You Really Have To Explain It To Them.

Doctor Just Told Me I Can't Have Kids. I Asked For A Second Opinion. He Said, Why? No One's Gonna To Let You Take Kids From This Hospital.

Donald, I'm Not Sure If You're Even Aware Of This, But The Only Difference Between You And Michael Douglas From The Movie, Wall Street, Is That No One's Going To Be Sad When You Get Cancer.