I Simply Like Guns Because You Can't

The Proliferation Of Support Groups Suggests To Me That Too Many Americans Are Growing Up In Homes That Do Not Contain A Grandmother. A Home Without A Grandmother Is Like An Egg Without Salt.... The Emotionally Satisfying Discussions That Take Place In Chronic Pain Outreach And Depression Resources Are Simply Updated Versions Of The Grandmotherly Practice Of Hanging Crepe. We Could Eliminate Much Of The Isolation That Support Groups Exist To Fill And Save The "traditional Family" That Everybody Is So Worried About If More Couples Took Their Aging Parents To Live With Them.

To Me, Elitism Means A Love Of Excellence And Superiority, But America Has Declared War On Both And Developed A Sick Love Of The Lowest Common Denominator To Make Sure No-one Becomes Too Fine For Our Touted Democracy. We Are Almost At The Point Of Regarding Every Virtue As Elitist.

True Nostalgia Is An Ephemeral Composition Of Disjointed Memories.

Hereditary Monarchy Offers Numerous Advantages For America. It Is The Only Form Of Government Able To Unify A Heterogeneous People. Thanks To Centuries Of Dynastic Marriage, The Family Tree Of Every Royal House Is An Ethnic Grab Bag With Something For Everybody. We Need This Badly; America Is The Only Country In The World Where You Can Suffer Culture Shock Without Leaving Home. We Can't Go On Much Longer Depending Upon Disasters Like Pearl Harbor And The Iranian Hostage-taking To "bring Us Together.

Self-help Books Are Making Life Downright Unsafe. Women Desperate To Catch A Man Practice All The Ploys Recommended By These Authors. Bump Into Him, Trip Over Him, Knock Him Down, Spill Something On Him, Scald Him, But Meet Him.