I Run Six-to-eight Miles A Day, Plus

I Do Have A Huge Problem, A Huge Problem. In Fact, Worse Than Watching Is Hearing. I Cannot Stand To Hear My Own Voice. When It's Coming Out Of My Mouth Right Now It Sounds Fantastically Interesting To Me. It's Rich In Light And Shade, It Goes Up And Down. But When I Hear It Either On Tv Or Even On Someone's Answering Machine, I Just Sound Like I've Had Half My Brain Removed.

People Are More Open About Seeking Help These Days. They Recognise The Fact That The Alternative To Having A Shrink Is That You Bore Your Friends Stupid. So I Figured That I Might As Well Give Someone 100 Bucks An Hour To Hear My Woes. At Least Someone Can Make A Living Out Of Listening To My Tedious Problems.

This Was The Tricky Bit. The Really Tricky Bit, Trickiness Cubed.

One Great Benefit Of Not Being On Tv Every Week Is That People Will Be A Lot Less Interested In What I Have In My Supermarket Basket. I Could Even Un-tint My Car Windows - Or At Least Opt For A Lighter Shade.

It's A Basic Truth Of The Human Condition That Everybody Lies. The Only Variable Is About What.