I Really Want To Help Stop Violence

I Have Been Struggling To Find My Way Back Into My Body My Whole Life.

Denial Is Really Death. People Think That When You're Connected With Other People It's More Painful. The Opposite Is True. When You're Connected To The River You Have Despair, But You Also Have Joy, And There's A Flow In The River.

Looking At It, I Started Crying. Maybe It Was Knowing That I Had To Give Up The Fantasy, The Enormous Life Consuming Fantasy , That Someone Or Something Was Going To Do This For Me – The Fantasy That Someone Was Coming To Lead My Life, To Choose Direction, To Give Me Orgasms.

I Think So Much Of My Early Life, Even Though I Grew Up White And Middle Class, I Was Completely Shattered By The Horrifically Violent Atmosphere I Grew Up In. I Am A Consequence Of Violence. That Opened A Door To Many Realities That I Would Not Have Experienced Had I Not Survived What I Did.

I Think About Marvin Gaye And 'sexual Healing.' What A Radical Idea That Sex Was Healing. I Learned My Politics Through That Music.